Triathalon schmiathalon....About that fear of water....yeaaaaah it's still not conquered... in fact it may have gotten worse. I have made some positive gains with the swimming. I feel like I can swim, which is a definite plus. I am more comfortable in the water and I have a better understanding of how to move to use less energy and go farther. It doesn't take as much to convince me that swimming can be fun... which is the biggest gain. None of these things however, change the fact that I'm terrified of swimming in a crowd, and after the story I heard of my Aunt Holly's first triathalon experience the fear has won out. In the race people swam into her, on top of her and as if that’s not enough a fellow swimmer panicked and grabbed hold of her ankle with an iron grip and wouldn’t let go!!! Since she is amazing, she kept her wits about her and was able to keep the both of them from drowning. I however do not have that kind of calm about me in crisis situations…. I would have freaked and drown anyone and everyone within reach.
For now the triathalon idea has been shelved but I have signed up for another marathon. Woo Hoo!! The Top of Utah Marathon September 19th 2009. I wanted to run another one before my 30th Birthday on Oct, 1st so I signed myself up. The idea was to be to beat my first time 5:20 and run it in 4:30 or less. I think I may have finally raised the bar to high. I have been working twice a week with a trainer on speed, agility and flexibility and two to three times a week doing strength training and doing a long run on the weekend. I think my shins are taking the brunt of it. I don't want to get stress fractures so I may have to back off and do a half marathon instead. I was disappointed at first but, oh well, at some point I will run one in 4:30 maybe before my 31st birthday. They have a Marathon through the Redwoods that looks beautiful...I guess we'll see what can happen in 19 weeks.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
4 years
Nathan and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversay and I hate to admit it but I think I'm just now adjusting to sharing my life with somebody. Maybe, just maybe, I have made it through infancy, the terrible two's and tested the boundary's through the third year. I've found my footing and gained some confidence in who I am as a partner and I think I'm becoming more emotionally mature. The fact that I would admit that I have been immature speaks volumes...
I always had a plan and followed it closely. Getting married was part of that plan. Shortly after reciting our vows all of my plans went out the window. When we got married I thought I knew everything. I did what I was supposed to do, followed the rules, had everthing together. Nate did not. My life was all figured out. I didn't realize that he might not want all of the things I did. I thought I was right and he was wrong. I thought he should work on this or that, and I that he needed to "grow up" which may have been true in many ways but boy did I need a mirror!!! I think that's what he has been for me. A mirror. Being able to see myself through his eyes has truly changed me.
Since we have been married Nate has never let me down. He gives me a heart attack by flying just under the radar but somehow everything works out just in the nick of time. I am beginning to accept that. It's not my style, but I am learning that it doesn't matter how he does it, but that he does always come through.
It may sound like a cliche' but he really does make me a better person. He does it with love. His love is patient, knowing, steady, real. For me it is perfect. For everything he might lack in self-discipline and follow through he makes up for with his huge heart and an acceptance that cannot be rivaled. He knows himself and doesn't try to change that for anyone. He also knows others and sees what they are about, what they are going through. He recognizes things in others that they don't see themselves and he listens. Without faulting, without judging, and with one of the greatest loving hug you will ever experience, he listens. If you are lucky enough to be a friend of Nate Jackson you know love. I am the lucky one who he calls his best friend. I am proud to be that person.
I always had a plan and followed it closely. Getting married was part of that plan. Shortly after reciting our vows all of my plans went out the window. When we got married I thought I knew everything. I did what I was supposed to do, followed the rules, had everthing together. Nate did not. My life was all figured out. I didn't realize that he might not want all of the things I did. I thought I was right and he was wrong. I thought he should work on this or that, and I that he needed to "grow up" which may have been true in many ways but boy did I need a mirror!!! I think that's what he has been for me. A mirror. Being able to see myself through his eyes has truly changed me.
Since we have been married Nate has never let me down. He gives me a heart attack by flying just under the radar but somehow everything works out just in the nick of time. I am beginning to accept that. It's not my style, but I am learning that it doesn't matter how he does it, but that he does always come through.
It may sound like a cliche' but he really does make me a better person. He does it with love. His love is patient, knowing, steady, real. For me it is perfect. For everything he might lack in self-discipline and follow through he makes up for with his huge heart and an acceptance that cannot be rivaled. He knows himself and doesn't try to change that for anyone. He also knows others and sees what they are about, what they are going through. He recognizes things in others that they don't see themselves and he listens. Without faulting, without judging, and with one of the greatest loving hug you will ever experience, he listens. If you are lucky enough to be a friend of Nate Jackson you know love. I am the lucky one who he calls his best friend. I am proud to be that person.
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